Ahh, the happy moment when you and your loved one are settled at home after the birth of your precious babe. Thus far, things have gone well – baby is sleeping most hours of the day, you are exhausted, of course, but “blissed out” over the gorgeous new being you both have created. Breastfeeding is OK, nothing too difficult (yet!), and the adrenalin honeymoon is continuing to provide you both with an air of excitement and eager anticipation about things to come.
Enter sleep deprivation. Exit sanity . . . as well as all endearments, cuddles and intimacy that existed between you and your partner PTB (prior to baby). We humans operate on a “must have sleep” policy before we can shower our loved ones with love, which means that when we are not getting any – our partners are also “not getting any” (ahem!). This is a very difficult time for many parents, as they struggle with reorganising their lives around the newest member, and trying to maintain the depth of their relationship. Moms are feeling very sensitive about, well, just about everything, and arguments that didn’t happen before seem to happen every day now. Initially, getting close may seem pretty near to impossible, however, there is light at the end of the tunnel . .
One thing that really helps during this time is to laugh together. I know, a tall order when you only have four hours of sleep between you over the past two nights. But, it can be one of the most heart-warming connections you will share, and it puts everything into perspective. OK, so maybe being barfed on (again!) isn’t so great, but these are the things you will laugh about with each other (and give you something to chat about on your date that you have planned for Saturday night!). Another important thing to remember is that this period of our lives is so brief in the big scheme of things. One day we will wake up and our tiny being will have grown into a toddler. This too shall pass . . . .
We all know this one. To resolve anything, we must speak with each other, be as honest and open as possible, and try to see the other person’s perspective. Talk about issues as soon as they arise, otherwise we risk the issue becoming bigger than it needs to be. As new parents, we all need understanding and love, and to hear that we are doing a good job in our new role, and the best person to give us these things is – the other parent.